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We made it, y’all. Week 7 was a slog, the NFL’s best teams (sans the Kansas City Chiefs) were on a bye, and the week’s best quarterbacking was led by Joe Burrow and Andy Dalton (which did give us the best NFL video of all time):
What will the talking heads be prattling on about this week? Read on, sports fans!
“You can’t stop Father Time, but you can slow [him] down.”
We all know Karl Malone wasn’t wrong. The human body, and not to mention NFL roster construction in the salary cap era, are entities inherently designed to break down over time. The discourse around career decisions, when not forced by injury or other factors, essentially comes down to two things: do you hang it up before or after the cliff?
Barry Sanders and Andrew Luck chose the former, creating neverending “what if” conversations around their talent and potential, having never won a Super Bowl. Do you remember who Emmitt Smith spent his last two seasons playing for? What about Jerry Rice, or Randy Moss? Peyton Manning is a unicorn and doesn’t count, so don’t even bother.
The Discourse around career trajectory has whipped up again, following a flaccid Week 7 slate which saw Aaron Rodgers and Tom Brady lose for the fourth time already this season. To say the losses were embarrassing would be putting it mildly enough for Ned Flanders. For the second consecutive week, the Buccaneers’ offense failed to find the end zone, and the Packers game, well:
“Aaron Rodgers finished the game face down on the turf after sailing a lateral out of bounds on a frantic, failed final play.”
For years, we’ve been conditioned by these two men to never count them out, to never give up on their chances to somehow figure it out and make noise in the postseason. Obviously, their playoff histories couldn’t be more different: Rodgers has only played in a single Super Bowl, while Brady is Brady.
The narrative then, this week, is whether each quarterback made a wise choice in returning this season, knowing the issues facing their teams. Both teams have had issues with injuries, but to not score a touchdown against the Panthers? To lose at home to the Jets? Rodgers knew his wide receiver room was emptier than an art school dropout’s kitchen, and Brady can’t shield himself with strawberry avoidance anymore. To say he fled a failing marriage for the warm embrace of his football obsession would, at this point, not be a stretch; crows, roosting, et cetera.
For me, personally, though? Patriots coach Bill Belichick (who we’ll get to in a minute) has operated for over two decades with a “better a year early than a year late” mentality for his roster, and as much as I despise the man I can’t find fault with the concept. Imagine a world where Brady was somehow convinced to stay and play with the Patriots’ roster the last two seasons and ended up getting swept by the Jets. Conceptualize the Gozer-level rage energy emanating from Foxborough in this alternate future.
Meanwhile, obvious and over-played ayahuasca jokes aside, something convinced Rodgers that coming back without Davante Adams or a plan to adequately replace his role in the offense prepared him for another playoff run. Was it the defense? Was it faith in his not-Mike-McCarthy coach? Was it sheer, unabashed narcissism dressed in a technicolor dreamcoat of arrogance?
The narrative, like a Romero remake, will never die. On a related note:
The Old Guys are Dead, Long Live the Old Guys
We’ve covered Rodgers and Brady, but they’re still starting. Matt Ryan will be replaced for the rest of the season by a guy who was a third-stringer a week ago, although jumping Nick Foles for the starting job isn’t exactly an Olympic-level feat. While the Colts are a special case in ass-backward team building, Ryan’s benching and, I’d assume, his eventual retirement before taking another snap, might be the final nail in the coffin for something not many people are discussing: the “pocket passer” as a concept.
For funsies, let’s take a look at the five best rushing quarterbacks, by yardage:
Those teams, coincidentally, are a combined 21-13. Did you know Patrick Mahomes, Jacoby Brissett, and Joe Burrow have more rushing yards than whatever is left of Russell Wilson? Statuesque pocket passers, like Manning, Brady, and Ryan, and “shifty/mobile” guys like Rodgers, Roethlisberger, and others have become a liability to NFL offenses.
Sam Ehlinger, who’ll have the unenviable task of scrambling for his life behind the Colts’ offensive line, possesses an obvious skill upgrade Nick Foles doesn’t, and that’s running the football.
Ehlinger was just as dangerous running the football, if not outright more, while he led the University of Texas offense. Justin Fields just got done dissecting the Patriots with more designed runs called than the Bears had used in his entire career, almost as if coaches finally realized a square peg and a square hole could make beautiful music together.
NFL defenses, and the two-high shell, have effectively shut down the majority of deep and moderate passing, and the left tackle pandemic has finished the job. For 2022, and highly probably future seasons, if your team doesn’t have a quarterback who can pick up first downs (and more) with his legs, you’re already behind. Effective, accurate passing can be learned, just ask Josh Allen, but wheels are an entirely different thing.
